The Inane Ideas of a Bored Girl a Yugioh Story
by camalaya
Summary: the Majority of the male cast of Yugioh and myself and several of my friends go on adventures involving friendship speeches from zombies, chairs, and creepy guys with white hair and one eye coughMximillion
1. Chapter 1

The insane creations of one really bored girl that include Marik, Yami, Bakura, Tristan, and Seto

It was a normal day at Domino High School, except for the fact that Alex had just transferred to Domino all the way from America! She was very nervous, but excited as well. She had never been to Japan before, and her long-lost Japanese cousins had promised to show her around after she got home from school.

As Alex walked down the halls, she didn't see the three pairs of eyes that watched her silently(Creepy…).

"Yugi, what are you looking at? Are you even listening to my friendship speech?" Tea asked.

"Nope." Yugi replied, still watching Alex. Little did Tea know, as she ran away in tears, that Yugi was really Yami at the time.

Seto Kaiba also watched Alex walk past. A smirk sneaked its way onto his face, scaring off the short girl who was about to try and have a conversation with Seto (It was a dare). Seto chuckled to himself as he heard the girl run away.

Across the hall, surrounded by girls, Marik watched Alex through the corner of his eye, while signing the girls' notebooks.

"She has potential." He muttered to himself, causing the girl nearest to him giggle. She obviously thought he was talking about her. He gave her a winning smile and sent her on her way.

Alex was on her way to band class, being an accomplished flute player. There she was surprised to see Pippin and Shlee, thinking she was the only one who had been transferred to Japan.

"Well, we found out after you were on the plane, and your cell was off. It was really interesting that we both had long-lost Japanese relatives. They just sorta called, discussed family history, and then, just like that, we were on a plane." Shlee burst (We don't really know why Shlee was bursting to say this, but 'said' is dead and boring, if that helps.). After Shlee had calmed down, Pippin got worked up by the entrance of Bakura, who, as it turns out, plays the saxophone like he was born with it in his hands (Who knew?). Pippin started emitting small yelping noises, until Shlee and Alex wrestled her down to the floor and told her to calm down… several times.

On her way to Social Studies, Alex was walking with her friends when she was flanked by Yami.

Hello there beautiful… Wanna go out with me?" Was the noise that came out of Yami's face-hole.

"No, not yet." Alex replied, "I have to get used to living in Japan before I can even consider getting a boyfriend."

Yami turned around and left, shoulders slumped a little. Seeing this from his locker, Seto began to laugh really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really hard. So much so that everyone close to him began edging away. Noticing this, Seto stopped laughing so loud, but he knew it would come back to him later, and he would start laughing really really really really…


	2. NO! NOT THE NEXT CHAPTER!

Chapter 2

During Social Studies the announcer came on: "The principal would like to meet his three new students. Report to his office after class." The announcer announced (Tee hee.).

After class got out, they set off toward the principal's office. Two more pairs of amorous eyes followed the group. Yes you guessed one, Bakura, whose eyes were for Pippin. But Tristan also joined the group of onlookers, eyes for Shlee alone, not paying any attention to Joey and Mai making out on his left.

When the trio (Alex, Pippin, and Shlee) entered the office and sat down, all they could see behind the desk was the back of a large leather chair. The chair turned around slowly, and in it was (DUH DUH DUH) MAXIMILLION PEGASUS!

"My my my my my… Hello Alex m'girl, Pippin m'girl, and Shlee m'girl. Welcome to Domino High School. I am your principal, MAXIMILLION PEGASUS!" He roared, adding a quick "m'girls" at the end. The trio jumped back with a collective "Woah."

"Now, we have great expectations…" He started again, but Alex interrupted him with, "Why does your hair cover one side of your face? I would be much more flattering with your features to have it cover the other side. And, why do you wear a white fluffy thingy on your neck?"

"SHUT UP!m'girl" Pegasus exclaimed, then went on to lecture them about school rules, throwing in a "m'girls" at least twice a sentence.

Suddenly, Alex woke up in her bed in America. Feeling groggy, she pinched her arm to get rid of the remainder of sleepiness…

And found herself in Pegasus's office again. She had fallen asleep. "Damn." She muttered. Her principal Pegasus had the weirdest voice she had ever heard, and she didn't want to sit and listen to it all day long.

"Mr. Pegasus sir? We're about to be late for gym class, and we don't want to make a bad impression…" Shlee announced, saving them all from a fate worse than death. (Which was) Listening to Max. Pegasus talk all day.

As they left his office and headed toward gym, Seto Kaiba came up on Alex's side.

"Hey, I have been watching you all morning, and I must say your radiance has shone its way down into my heart. Would you possibly consider being my girlfriend?" Kaiba asked, hopeful. If she wasn't Yugi's type, she had to be his.

"No, sorry. I'm very flattered, but I've got to get used to living in Japan first, before boyfriends." Alex proclaimed, and went on her way to gym.

"Hello, and welcome to ladies gym. I am your teacher, Mr. Miroku!" stated the girls gym teacher. He was tall, and had a VERY weird glint in his eye.

He started the class warm-ups with jumping jacks, then situps, and then pushups. Alex, Pippin, and Shlee were tired after that, and were happy when it was stretch time. Stretching out their hamstrings, they hardly noticed Mr. Miroku coming down the line, helping the girls get a better stretch. They did notice when it was their turn however. At first, it was innocent correction, then it was a real stretch, and then certain peoples hands started to linger, and when Pippin, who was corrected first, tried to stand up and get away, he just pushed her into a deeper stretch and moved on. It was a strange class. They were glad to find that the girl's locker room had just girls in it, not lecherous teachers.

After getting through Science, Math, Language Arts, and Japanese, the trio decided to stay for an afterschool activity… Martial Arts class!

They had two teachers…

"I'm Ms. Sango."

"I'm Inuyasha. Just Inuyasha."

"Shit." Alex muttered.

The class started with some very energetic warm-ups, then running suicides. Coincidentally, all three of them felt like dying.

But then they got to pick sparring weapons. Everyone would learn how to use a different weapon each day. Alex picked a staff, Shlee a blunted broadsword, and Pippin twin blades. They each partnered with somebody who had a matching weapon. At the end of the class they were tired but really happy, even if they WERE bruised. Shlee's partner had been a boy named Tristan, who had asked if he could show her around Domino City. Shlee, of course, said yes, so Tristan joined the little group (Alex, her long-lost relatives, Pippin and Shlee remember?).

As it turns out, they had a great time, and Tristan bought Shlee a really nifty necklace. The mall was really big, and they even found a fancy pancy restaurant. They didn't eat there though, it was too expensive.

After the short tour through Domino City, everyone went home. Interestingly enough, Alex, Pippin, and Shlee were all staying in the same apartment building, on the same floor. They talked for awhile in the hallway.

After they all went to their rooms for the night, a tall, brown haired, rich, blue eyed, non-moustached (Have you guessed yet?) bad tempered (Last clue) guy walked out of the building.

As Alex lay down to sleep, she failed to notice the camera installed on her ceiling, or that the aforementioned guy who installed it watched her sleep all night long. Creepy.

The next day Alex jumped out of bed ready for ANYTHING… just kidding. She was tired and achy all over from her afterschool class. Pippin and Shlee were in the same state.

Still, they managed to eat breakfast and get dressed for school. They met in the hallway, then went downstairs.

As they walked down the sidewalk, Tristan pulled up in his car. He offered them a ride, which they gladly accepted, not caring that his car was old and dingy. They were just happy to get off their aching feet.

In the break between classes, Marik a.k.a. Namu walked up to Yami. (He is going to be Yami the whole story, so get used to it. Yugi is on vacation, forever… hee hee.)

"Yugi, I saw you get turned down by the new girl yesterday. No offense, but I was wondering why… and where is Tea?"

"Tea? She's probably in a locker somewhere babbling about friendly friends and friendly times and friendly places. She needs to stop, or somebody cough Joey cough is going to duct tape her mouth shut… Anyway, Alex turned me down because she needs time to adjust to living in Japan." Pronounced Yami, then, tripping on a conveniently placed banana peel, he ran away blushing. (Guess Yugi was back for a little while…)


	3. It's Chahptah 3 Dahling

Chahptah Three Dahling

A week went by quickly and the trio were doing quite swimmingly. It was Friday, and Pippin had been asked out by Bakura the day before. She was happy, and when I say happy, I mean rolling on the floor repeatedly saying "I'm so very, very happy." The trio were going to go on a triple date, provided Alex picked a guy to go with. There were more than one who wanted her affection.

By the end of the day Alex had decided on two people, one to be chosen at a later time. They were Yami and Kaiba. She told them that the other was going as well, and that as the date progressed, she would choose one.

School ended, and waiting at home for the trio was a surprise. UPS had come with a VERY special package. "OUR CAR!" The girls yelled at the same time, simultaneously. They had all worked very hard to get their dream car together. It was a nifty black sports car with nice stereo systems, underlights, and flames.

Happy to have their car, the girls went out to the mall to buy an outfit for their date, as they still hadn't gotten all their clothes from the states yet. Why they got their car before their clothes just goes to show you what the author's priorities in this story are!

At the mall Alex, Pippin, and Shlee were having an even better time than when they went with Tristan and Alex's strange family. Whenever they looked at Alex's relatives, it seemed they all had this weird glowing eye thingy on their foreheads. It was decidedly creepy.

On the way to the clothing stores, the trio passed an exasperated Mai trying to spoonfeed a dirty, unkempt, twitching Tea. Alex tried to listen to their conversation, but all she heard in script form was:

Mai: sigh

Tea: Friends… Friends… Fritwitchends… Friends… Friends… Friends…

After shopping for awhile, Pippin bought a sexy black and silver outfit, Shlee a sexy black and purple outfit, and Alex bought a sexy black and blue outfit. They were excited about the date. Like, uber excited. (So excited they might've imploded if it were humanly possible. Good thing it's not, because then there wouldn't be any story.)

After a long nights almost sleep but not quite, they each got ready for the date. First, they were all going to meet at Domino High to decide whose car they were going to take. Then they were going to go to a fancy restaurant, on Kaiba. After that, they would go wherever the wind blew them (So cliché).

All made up and beautiful, they set off in their car toward Domino High. They were the first to get there, so they waited for a bit. They didn't need to wait long. Kaibe roared up in a neat red BMW. Tristan and Bakura pulled up in cars that had been to judgment day and back, and Yami pulled up in a mini-van.

"A MINI-VAN!" Kaiba gasped, his face turning an intruiging shade of purple as he struggled with laughter.

"Well," Yami put forth as he scratched his head vigorously, "My mom said I had to use the van instead of the Camry. Sorry…?"

In the end they decided to take the girls' car. ("But it only has five seats!" Bakura exclaimed, before he understood completely.) Alex let Tristan drive out of sympathy. Shlee sat in the front next to Tristan, and Pippin sat on Bakura who was sitting on that thingy in between the two front seats that flips up and has a compartment. Alex sat in the back between Kaiba and Yami.

"Sooo, darling, you never mentioned how you would choose one of us…" Kaiba murmured, loud enough for Yami to hear.

"I don't know, impress me." Suggested Alex. In their hurry to 'impress' her, Kaiba and Yami ended up kissing each other.

"Well… that's impressive I guess…"


	4. Chapter 4! Never in my wildest dreams!

After the fancy restaurant, they went to a dance club. Tristan and Shlee instantly hit the dance floor, and began DIRTY DANCING.

Pippin and Alex were dumbstruck (Anime big eyes, small mouth, the works)

"Did you know Shlee could dance like that?!"

"Nooooo..."

Suddenly Alex was grabbed by both Kaiba and Yami and dragged onto the dance floor. They both tried to dance with her at the same time, but it didn't work, so she declared they had to take turns dancing with her.

While Alex was slow dancing with Yami, and Kaiba was glaring at Yami, Pippin and Bakura were hitting it off quite well. They had been talking forever and had a lot in common. They liked the same music, and were both very afraid of sharks.

The song changed. It was "Turn Me On" by Kevin Lyttle. Bakura, not knowing how to dance, let his yami side take over for awhile.

Yami Bakura pulled Pippin out onto the floor, where she realized what was going on (little slow there pip) and began dirty danceying on him. She noticed out of the corner of her eye Yami storming off while Alex dirty danceyed Kaiba. She laughed, but didn't even try to look for Shlee and Tristan. She wasn't sure she wanted to know what they were doing...

Alex watched Yami storm off //I wonder if he'll realize it'll be his turn next song// she thought. At least Kaiba had some idea of what he was doing. She would have been disappointed if he hadn't.

The song changed again, and quick as a flash, or lightning, or just plain fricken light, Yami returned to take Kaiba's place. The song was "Yeah" by Usher. //This is going to be a hard decision.// Alex thought to herself. //They both know what they're doing!// (If I use that phrase again, please punch me in the face!!) Looking around the room, she saw Shlee and Tristan, and REALLY wished she hadn't. Oh boy, did she wish she hadn't seen that, I mean, GEEZ!. She turned her head away and realized Yami was kissing her neck. She was astonished, but did not slap him away. //Didn't expect that.//

They drove to the docks after they got bored of the dance club. Alex was lying on both Kaiba and Yami's laps, and Bakura and Pippin were sharing the other back seat. They had grabbed one of Kaiba's employees to drive, as Tristan and Shlee HAD to share the from passenger seat, so that they could attempt to suck each others faces off the whole ride!

They arrived at the docks and Kaiba dismissed his employee back to Kaiba Corp.. Just as Yami was about to try and kiss Alex, her face went empty and blank. So did Shlee, to Tristan's disappointment, and Pippins faces. They each sorta drifted out of the car and kinda floated up to a very high place.

Evil Marik appeared next to them.

"Muahahahahahahahaha cough hahahahahahahaHA!!" exclaimed Evil Marik. "I will now explain to you how I have tricked you OH SO VERY well."

Hooded people with nipple rings appeared from nowhere to bind the three girls tightly. Evil Marik snapped his fingers. The girls, revived from their dazedness, started to struggle against their bonds.

"One of these three girls is the reincarnation of the woman who was to be my bride!"

Marik farted, he muttered, "Damn evil bean burritos, get me every single time..." and went on.

"I made some of my mindslaves act like their long lost family, so they could be sent here for my PERSONAL inspection."

At this Evil Marik snapped his fingers again and none other than MAXIMILLION PEGASUS was brought out, bound to a chair.

"Well, hello Kaiba m'boy, Tristan m'boy, Yugi m'boy, Marik m'boy, Alex m'girl, Pippin m'girl, and Ashley m'girl!" He exclaimed happily, finally getting to have an unnecessarily long introduction with his annoying voice.

"Quiet, or I'll shoot you!" Evil Marik announced, bringing out a gun. "I want to you rip out their souls for a minute for my PERSONAL examination, or I'll shoot you."

Pegasus hung his head and did as he was told(having no conscience as a school principal (and mild villain)). A shining orb emerged from each of one of the trio. Marik PERSONALLY examined them.

"Hmm, hmm hmm, uh uh. Hmm, hmm hmm, nope." he murmured, sending two of the shining orbs back into Pippin and Shlee. The hooded guys with nipple piercings pulled Pippin and Shlee off the high place and shoved them back to the guys.

Marik then grabbed the remaining orb and put it in a glass bottle.

"No!" Kaiba and Yami shouted at the same time, too worried about Alex to glare at each other for having the same thought.

Alex hung limp and apparently unconscious in her bonds. Suddenly, a stumbling, twitching Tea appeared from the not-before-mentioned dark alley to the left(Alex's unconscious body's right). Half her hair was shaved off, and one eye was all squinty.

"Alex (twitch) break the (twitch) spell with (twitch) friendship!" Tea shouted. Evil Marik raised the Milennium Rod. Taking posession of Tea's mind, he shouted, "Go jump off a cliff!"

"Okay." was Tea's reply after he left her body, and she stumbled twitching off into the distance.

Evil Marik toyed with the glass bottle that had the orb in it for a second, then got tired with it. He opened the glass bottle and sent the orb back into Alex. She started struggling against her bonds again.

"You can't tear those bonds, they're made of beef jerky! They'll never break!!" Evil Marik sneered.

Out of a WORMHOLE Vicini from the Princess Bride appeared.

"Ha ha you fool! You've committed one of the classic blunders! The first, and more commonly known is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but the second is NEVER WRAP AN AMERICAN IN BEEF JERKY!!" And then Vicini disappeared back into the wormhole.

Evil Marik turned around and discovered that Alex had almost eaten her way out of the jerky. He growled, and hooded guys with nipple rings came up behind Alex, and knocked her unconscious in a not very nice way. The same happened to the rest of the group.

Kaiba and Yami were thrown into a dark cell. It smelled like putrescence and carrots, but there must have been a loudspeaker somewhere, because it announced, "Muahahahahaha! You will now be forced to watch evil things Kaiba and, (duh duh duh) Yami! (Yami gasps in horror)(Kaiba groans).

A TV came on in the corner of their cel. What they saw had them crying in a few short moments. Tristan was in the cell next to them. He heard their whimpers and inquired, "What are you watching?"

"Bad bad things!"

"You mean he's..." Tristan asked urgently.

"Yes!

"With...?"

"Yes!" Kaiba and Yami wailed.

"And?!"

"Yes! Yes! He's killing kittens with a butcherknife and then putting the little bits into tunafish cans!!" (Oh! So that's what tuna is!)

Tristan anime fainted and myu deathed at the same time. 


	5. The next chapter WHOOP its not special

Alex was strapped in a chair(with strong rope this time) with her head hung low. The door swung open and in came a hooded guy with a considerably large nose.

"Hello, Come to take me to some new place that's even worse than this one?" Alex spat at him, fed up with the surprisingly large amount of hooded people.

"Actually, no. My name is Odion and I'm here to entertain you!" And with that he put on his red rubber clown nose and did a little dance for Alex. Alex was amused, and there was great rejoicing.

He stayed for a long while, because he had no other orders. They became good friends, and Alex taught Odion the frog and the little birdie songs, popular among little boys for their grisly endings. Odion thought they were funny, and there was much rejoicing. Odion did his little dance several times, making Alex laugh.

Then, all of a sudden, Tea walked into the room!

"I thought you jumped off a cliff!" Alex exclaimed.

"I did, but I'm really an ancient egyptian princess with the power to return from death. See, its written on my back in heiroglyphs! Now, friendly friends don't let their friendly friends jump off friendly cliffs or else..." was the noise that came from Tea's face sphincter. She turned around and lifted the back of her shirt up.

"Tea, you back is blank..."

"Really? Oh shit!" Tea exclaimed, then promply dropped down dead.

"That was odd." remarked Odion.

"You have no idea... That is going to smell terrible in a couple of hours..."

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (cliche, I know)

Yami and Kaiba were straining against the bars of their cell, trying to get away from the invasive sound of Shlee and Tristan... umm... contortionist-icly enjoying each others company.

Meanwhile, back at the other less dirty setting, Pippin and Bakura were sitting at a dining table. They were dressed in fine clothes, readying to dine with Marik.

"Explain to me again why we're HERE eating a NICE DINNER while my FRIENDS are in CELLS?!" Pippin asked angrily, on the verge of starting the apocalypse.

"Because my Yami has some sort of deal with Marik's Yami. To tell the truth, Ashley and Tristan don't seem to mind(Pippin winced), and Alex has been sent Odion to keep her company." Bakura interjected, anxious to keep Pippin calm. He had seen her lash out all tiger-like and ninja-ey at the guards as they dragged a limp and unconscious Alex away.

"Well, why am I HERE with YOU when ALEX isn't HERE with MARIK?!?" Pippin asked dangerously, feeling the tiger lady of golden kaa rising inside her. She was pissed!!

"I really can't say..."

Just then, the doors burst open. In came a circus clown. He danced around for awhile, then left the way he came.

"That was weird." Pippin mused.

The doors opened again and in came Yami Marik with Isuzu on his arm.

"I apologize for not bringing Alex to dine with us, but I'm torturing my good side for awhile. This is my sister, Isuzu." Yami Marik announced, as he pulled out a chair for his newly titled sister.

Yami Marik sat down with the Milennium Rod in his hand. Quick as a limpet, Pippin lunged for it and snatched it out of his hand. She was immediately possessed by the ancient spirit inside the Rod.

"Well, I've never been a girl before." The Yami stated.

Marik snatched the Rod back from Pippin.

"Back to you again?" The Yami morosely oralized.

Pippin snatched the Milennium Rod back.

"Oh, a girl again... HEY! I can look at myself naked!!!" The Yami gleefully announced.

Yet again, Marik snatched the Milennium Rod back (don't you just love redundance?).

"Aww, come on!" The Yami groaned.

But Yami Marik got over itself and began gloatingly to toss the Milennium Rod from hand to hand. Isuzu shifted in her seat as Pippin grabbed the Milennium Rod while it was in the air. Quick as a gastropod, Marik grabbed the other end.

"NOOO! I need this! It's a family heirloom!" Marik screeched.

"NOOO! I need this to take over Bakura's mind to make him make the first move!!" Pippin bellowed.

They tugged at it for awhile, growling. Then, all of a sudden, the axey bit with the eye broke off, and the rod-ey thingy broke apart and flew into the air.

"Is that even supposed to happen?" Bakura inquired of the wall.

"You BROKE IT!!" Marik yelled. Pippin instinctively pointed at Bakura. Bakura stood up angrily as Tea's stinking corpse fell from the ceiling. The clown came back on a unicycle and started juggling infants, and then the polka music started...

"QUIET!!" Isuzu shouted. "I didn't think THIS kind of hell would break loose. Marik, I switched the real Milennium Rod with a fake one, because I knew you would get in a tugging fight."

"How did you bloody DO that? Bakura asked, astonished.

"I have nifty sleight of hand skills. I learned them when I first came here, and I'm pretty good, see?" Isuzu announced, then promptly pulled a watermelon out of Pippin's nose.

"That's no big deal. I got that watermelon stuck in there when i was little." Pippin muttered jealously.

The clown started dancing again. Marik shot him. The clown died. (Damn it Marik! I had plans for that clown!!) 


End file.
